Wine knowledge gives a sommelier the technical foundation to recommend the right bottle. However, knowledge alone does not guarantee a successful interaction. A sommelier must quickly understand the guest, interpret incomplete information, and determine how much guidance the table wants.

For Sutton McElroy, Wine Director at The Oakville in Chicago, the most important sommelier skills begin with listening and reading the room. A sommelier may have only a few minutes to understand a guest’s preferences, budget, meal, and expectations. During that short conversation, they must also make the guest feel comfortable and earn enough trust to guide the decision.

Begin With the Person, Not the Wine

When a guest is unfamiliar with wine, beginning with technical questions can make the conversation more difficult. Asking about appellations, grape varieties, or winemaking styles assumes a level of knowledge the guest may not possess.

McElroy begins with questions that are easier and more natural to answer.

“I ask them about their day, what they’re eating, who they’re enjoying the bottle with, what kinds of wines they typically enjoy, or even what kinds of cocktails they gravitate toward.”

These questions provide useful information without making the guest feel tested. What someone drinks outside the world of wine can offer valuable clues. A guest who enjoys fresh, citrus-driven cocktails may respond well to a bright, high-acid white wine. Someone who prefers richer, spirit-forward drinks may be open to a fuller and more structured style.

The occasion also matters. A wine selected for a business dinner may require a different approach from one chosen for an anniversary, a relaxed dinner with friends or a guest’s first visit to the restaurant.

Listen for the Meaning Behind the Request

Guests rarely describe wine using professional vocabulary. They may ask for something “smooth,” “not too sweet,” “easy to drink,” or similar to a bottle they enjoyed previously. These requests can appear vague, but they usually contain useful information.

“I think the most important skills for a sommelier are rooted in being able to truly listen and read the room,” says McElroy.

The sommelier’s role is to understand what the guest means. “Smooth” could refer to softer tannins, moderate acidity, ripe fruit, or simply a wine that feels familiar. Instead of correcting the guest’s terminology, the sommelier can ask a few natural follow-up questions and connect the answers with suitable wines on the list.

McElroy describes this process as creating a “connect-the-dots” relationship. It requires the sommelier to combine what the guest says with what they order, how they respond, and what the occasion demands.

Understand How Much Interaction the Table Wants

Reading the room also means knowing when to continue the conversation and when to step away. Some guests want to discuss regions, producers, vintages and winemaking techniques. Others simply want an enjoyable bottle at a comfortable price.

A successful sommelier recognises the difference quickly. Providing too little information can make an interested guest feel overlooked. Providing too much can interrupt the meal or make a casual wine drinker feel overwhelmed.

Body language offers important clues. Does the guest maintain eye contact and ask follow-up questions? Are other people at the table joining the discussion? Does the guest appear engaged, uncertain, or ready to return to the group’s conversation?

The strongest interaction is not necessarily the longest. It is the one that gives the guest enough information to feel comfortable and confident about the decision.

Build Trust Without Displaying Expertise

During a guest interaction, a sommelier may be searching through an extensive mental catalogue of producers, regions, vintages, styles, and price points. McElroy describes it as flipping through a “mental Rolodex” while remaining personable and building trust immediately.

That trust depends on how the knowledge is communicated. Guests should feel that the sommelier is using expertise to help them, not to demonstrate authority.

A clear explanation is often more effective than a technical monologue. The sommelier can connect the recommendation to information the guest has already provided: the dish they ordered, the styles they enjoy, the occasion, or their preferred price range.

The recommendation should answer a simple question: Why is this the right wine for this guest at this moment?

Give Guests Permission to Have Opinions

One of the biggest barriers to a successful wine conversation is the belief that there is a correct answer. Guests may hesitate to share their preferences because they are worried about being judged.

McElroy identifies one of the most common mistakes as guests acting as though they do not have opinions.

“It’s okay to like what you like; I’m not here to judge!”

This is an important message for sommeliers to communicate. Guests do not need technical language to express a valid preference. They only need to describe what they enjoy—or what they do not enjoy.

When guests feel that their opinions are respected, they become more willing to share information. That makes it easier for the sommelier to recommend something relevant and introduce new wines without making the guest feel pressured.

Use Small Gestures to Strengthen Relationships

Trust is rarely built through one grand gesture. It develops through a series of small and thoughtful interactions.

McElroy recommends remembering guests’ names and what they like. A returning guest who is welcomed personally or offered a wine connected to a previous visit immediately feels recognised.

“People deserve to feel special. Our guests are the core of what we do.”

Small tastes can also create meaningful experiences. If an interesting bottle is already open, offering a taste to guests who are beginning to explore wine can turn a routine dinner into a memorable occasion.

These gestures do not always need to be connected to an immediate sale. A genuine conversation, an additional table visit or a thoughtful recommendation can become the beginning of a long-term guest relationship.

Treat Every Guest Like a VIP

McElroy’s hospitality philosophy is direct: “Everyone is a VIP.”

This does not mean every table requires the same level of attention. It means every guest deserves to feel seen, respected, and valued.

A young couple dining on a quiet Tuesday may eventually become loyal regulars. A guest trying an unfamiliar wine may return because the sommelier made the experience welcoming rather than intimidating. A small gesture on one visit can influence where that person chooses to dine in the future.

Reading the room helps the sommelier determine what VIP treatment means for each guest. For one person, it may be an in-depth wine conversation. For another, it may be a quick recommendation followed by the space to enjoy the meal privately.

Make Authenticity Part of the Sales Process

McElroy advises sommeliers to have conversations even when they are not directly connected to a sale. Guests can sense when an interaction is genuine and when it is purely transactional.

“Have the conversation, even if it’s not about the sale. Read people’s body language and be authentic.”

This approach may not produce an immediate increase in the check average, but it can create repeat business. McElroy notes that many valuable guest relationships began with an additional table visit or a question that demonstrated genuine interest.

Over time, those guests returned. The relationship became commercially valuable because it began with hospitality rather than a sales pitch.

Build a Wine Program That Supports the Conversation

Reading the room becomes much easier when the wine program offers genuine choice. McElroy believes a solid program should acknowledge the many different ways guests approach wine.

“A solid wine program acknowledges all aspects of wine, offering something for everyone across every level of accessibility.”

Accessibility can include price, producer recognition, category, region, or style. Some guests want a familiar label, while others want to discover something new. Both needs should be represented.

A great wine program sits between what guests already know they want and what the sommelier is excited to introduce. Those two elements must exist harmoniously. A list that focuses only on familiar brands can become predictable, while a program built entirely around the buyer’s personal interests may feel inaccessible.

Train Sommeliers for the Everyday Work

The ability to build trust at the table depends partly on what happens behind the scenes. McElroy believes new sommeliers need more than theoretical wine knowledge.

“A strong understanding of cellar organization, efficient use of administrative systems and technology, and the microcosm of service-oriented details gives someone the foundation they need to confidently navigate new people and spaces.”

When the cellar is organised and the sommelier understands the restaurant’s systems, more attention can be given to the guest. Operational confidence creates space for better listening, faster thinking and more personalised service.

These practical skills also help the sommelier respond when the restaurant is busy. Reading the room and building trust must happen in real time, often while managing several tables and other operational responsibilities.

The Sommelier as a Translator

McElroy’s approach presents the sommelier as a translator between the guest and the wine list.

The guest provides fragments of information: a preferred cocktail, a dish, a price range, an occasion, or a feeling they want the wine to create. The sommelier connects those details with product knowledge and recommends a wine that makes sense.

The best sommeliers make this process feel natural. They listen carefully, ask approachable questions, and communicate without judgement. They understand when a table wants education and when it simply wants reassurance.

Building trust on a dime does not come from reciting more facts. It comes from using knowledge, awareness, and empathy to make the guest feel understood.

Also Read:
10 Lessons from Ryan Hoffman on Empathy, Wine and Restaurant Operations
How to Build a Profitable, Guest-Focused Restaurant and Beverage Program